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On the train into NYC the other day, I was chatting with some of my guy friends about what I want in a guy. Guy Friend #1 said I need to stop being so shallow. Guy Friend # 2 told me he sees nothing wrong with what I want. I decided to throw it out in the blogsphere, and see what y’all think. I broke it down:
Looks: I want to find him attractive. While some try to claim that physical features aren’t important, looks are what first attract us to others. Thankfully, everyone has different ideas of what they find attractive, so I believe everyone can seem attractive to someone else – that is why I don’t feel bad for saying I have to find a guy attractive or else there is no spark. For example: Donna and I are best friends, but except for David Beckham, I don’t see what she sees in the guys she likes and she doesn’t see what I see in the guys I crush on. No big deal.
Physically, I prefer for guys to be in fairly good shape. While no girl would complain if a guy happened to have Gerard Butler’s abs from 300, being in shape is attractive to me because it means a guy cares about his health and well being. That is always a good thing. Plus, I enjoy being active, so I’d prefer if I didn’t have to drag a guy along to a 5K. Been there, done that. Hopefully, it also means he doesn’t smoke, which I’d have to place under deal breakers…
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Personality: I want someone that is smart, passionate (even if it’s just about his fantasy football team or what he made for dinner), and witty. I prefer for my guy to speak the foreign language of sarcasm as I’m very fluent in it. He must like watching sports and be competitive in nature – whether it’s an intense game of Apples to Apples or cheering for separate teams during the Super Bowl. With the competitive streak should come confidence, but those that have a “holier-than-thou” attitude need not apply. Lastly, this guy shouldn’t be afraid to be goofy and make a fool of himself. I enjoy someone who is playful but not immature. Having said that, he has to like to dance even if it’s just throwing some dice or doing the running man (although those are my signature moves, so he better not steal them…)
Manners: Dream guy will always pay for the first date. I’m someone that believes that once you start dating, the couple can switch off because that’s only fair. Until then, it’s tradition, and I like it. I want someone that treats everyone equal whether he is in the presence of the President of the United States or a waiter in a restaurant – except for me because he should treat me like the queen. Obviously.
Job: I don’t really care what he does exactly, but if he wears a suit to work everyday then that’s a bonus. I love a guy in a good, tailored suit a la Matt Bomer:
Photo from here.
Random: A guy shouldn’t try to change me because I don’t give in to peer pressure too easily. He’ll just be wasting his time. I won’t stop blogging, so he shouldn’t even ask – it didn’t work out too well for He Who Must Not Be Named… I find mannerisms attractive. Watch Brad Pitt in Ocean’s 11 if you don’t know what I’m talking about. He must own books. He needs to have dreams and goals in life. He should appreciate chill nights in just as much as fun nights out. Lastly, he must be a family man.
Personally, I don’t think the attributes listed above are shallow because I’m looking for a lot more than looks and I’m not discriminating against anyone/demanding they be 6 foot, with blond hair and dark brown eyes or whatnot. I will say I know what I want which might be intimidating, but I think I’m fairly realistic as well. Until this guy comes walking into my gin joint, this will remain my phone background because it’s the best fairy tale I’ve heard in a while:
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What are your thoughts and opinions? I’d love to hear them!
Stay fit and fabulous,